And he put on cursing, like a garment...

Profanity

I would like to preface this blog post by saying that I am in no way shape or form attempting to make excuses for my own shortfalls, behaviors, faults, or choices in life, as these experiences (good, bad, or otherwise) have helped to make me who I am today. As I have mentioned before I, and my wife, are converts to the Catholic faith. As a child I was raised Christian (mostly) but for the majority of my adult life before my conversion, my religion was my Motorcycle Club. Now, don't worry, I'm not going to go into a three hour road-trip down memory lane and recant old war-stories about adult establishments and fist fights, but I will say that is is a culture built on vulgarity, profanity, violence, power and the use of illicit substances. It's members worship the lifestyle, and swear loyalty and allegiance upon pain of death! ( Insert hyperbole here) And I was among it's most devout. 

So, coming into the Catholic Church (no I was not drug in kicking and screaming) from that particular walk of life, coupled with the fact that my wife and I were about to have our first child, presented a very unique and challenging set of circumstances and trials of which to overcome. Most of them I tackled with the ferocity of a linebacker, a Soldier of God, clad in the armor of Christ fighting for his own soul! Drugs, gone! Reckless Abandon, gone! Seedy back-alley "gentlemen" clubs, gone! Bigotry, gone! Booze, mostly gone!... Well, you get my point. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches us that "It is in the bosom of the family that parents are “by word and example... the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. It is here that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way “by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity.” Thus the home is the first school of Christian life and “a school for human enrichment." The Christian home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called “the domestic church,” a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.

Suddenly I had come to the realization that all of these things that I had been indoctrinated into believing were the very foundation of my human freedom, were actually the antithesis of true freedom in Christ. -- Chief among these was, and for me still is, the use of profanity, especially the relegation of almost anything objectionable to me to damnation, and demanding as much in the Name of God the Father Almighty. I had let go of most of my old vices, addictions, and downright nasty habits, as easily as slipping out of an old dirty shirt  --  "And he loved cursing, and it shall come unto him: and he would not have blessing, and it shall be far from him. And he put on cursing, like a garment" ( Psalm 108) Now I have a duty not only to myself, but to my God, my wife, and my children, and the use of profanity in my everyday vernacular has certainly proven itself to be the most difficult to kick. 

While listening to Right Here, Right Now – With Patrick Madrid, speak on the topic, he mentioned that he had a friend that stopped using profanity "cold turkey" upon his conversion to Christianity. I commend this man wholeheartedly, and admittedly feel a degree of envy, as my own efforts to curb the vulgarities that sometimes ( more often than I usually realize) spew from the deepest recesses of my Cro-magnon, testosterone-laden brain, have continually fallen short.


That's not to say that there hasn't been significant improvement over time, that being said time and  again I find myself falling onto that old trap, and have found it both necessary and beneficial to employ numerous strategies in my struggle against cursing, from crossing myself immediately after cursing, to instituting various self-imposed penalties, replacing curse words with less offensive --or even silly ones, to reciting the Divine Praises, and other prayers several times a day. These tools have all been helpful, in that I am able to turn an instance of weakness and sin instantly into a moment of grace and growth. 

Recently I came across a homily that was about cursing, more specifically Reverence for the Holy Name of God, which regrettably seems to be my poison of choice, it had this to say on the topic; "We have heard his holy name not used with reverence in Films or music, perhaps even in common conversation with friends.  We should do our best to eliminate those things in our life the simulate this lack of fear for God, even if they are persons." When I read that, my first thought were those of guffaw, I mean what excessive lengths, and what a heavy burden to be charged with, but looking back over the last few years, that is exactly what I have done, and with good reason.

As I stated earlier (and have touched on in past posts) I have a duty not just to myself, but to my family as well. God saw fit to entrust me with the precious souls of some of His children, and one fine day I will be required to give an account for those souls. With this always in the back of my mind, I feel it is my responsibility to fulfill the most important duty of fatherhood, that is their spiritual instruction, and personally I feel that one is unworthy of giving such instruction with filth hanging off of his lips. In the Gospel of Luke we read; "Which of you, if he ask his father bread, will he give him a stone? or a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he reach him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father from heaven give the good Spirit to them that ask him?" My point is, being the vulgar, wretched, sinner that I am, I still wish to provide my family with good gifts rather than poison. 

I will close with this, a prayer in which I have found much solace and strength, especially in times of weakness,

Lord Jesus, you told us to learn of you because you are meek and humble of heart. Teach me your way of meekness that I may control my, mind, my heart, my tongue.
Give me the manly calm and self control needed to be an example and inspiration to my family.
Help me to be a considerate husband -- to be a true comfort to my wife... and never quarreling or peevish. May I be at all times sympathetic, and may my words never be bitter or bring her sorrow. May I always be understanding, unselfish, and thoughtful in sharing with her the family problems. Let me be ready to conciliate differences with understanding and never be domineering.
Teach me to be a patient father to my children, inspiring them always by my word and example. May my words always be words that direct and help them, and never words that wound. When I must correct them, let it not be in anger. And when I must be firm in my corrections, let me never be crude or harsh.
Let me never use rude or impatient words before my wife or children, nor display any uncontrolled or ill-considered action, which must certainly be a reproach to me afterwards when I contemplate the gentleness and calm of Your meek and humble heart. Amen.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, make my heart like unto Thine!

Paul Kemp Jr.
Devoted Husband, Loving Father, Hockey Fanatic, Passionate Catholic.



CCC chapter 3 article 7, 1656, 1657, 1666